Year 2, 02Sep12

Choices. Why do we make the choices we do? Why do we put ourselves in situations in which the choices are at the least 'bad judgement' and at worst fatal. Whether it be alcohol, marijuana, drugs, sex...the list goes on and on. With time, we become more careful about getting into situations which force/limit choices. For Alicia, it was a confluence of multiple choices which put her in the situation of being on a steep cliff, with no moon light, at midnight etc... How do we impress our wisdom upon our kids? How can we provide guidance so that they do not repeat mistakes we made or walk into situations from which there can only be 'bad' and 'worse' choices?

Year 2, 01Sep12

Alicia came into my dreams a few nights ago. I was unable to see her face as she walked over to kneel down to speak with a friend of hers laying down. I immediately recognized her. Seeing her even in my dreams startled me to the point I awoke and scanned the bedroom for her. It felt as if she was within my reach. But alas, it was only in my dreams. It has been a long time since she last visited me in my dreams. I wish she would visit more often. Cathie is at Burning Man this week. She and I had worked on the temple which was designed by David Best. Before she left, she bought a wooden box and began collating some of our memories and belongings of Alicia. The box would be placed within the temple which will be burned the day after the man is burned. Sitting down to think about what to put in to the box, was difficult. All the emotions welled from within and spilled out into the open as I read my various posts of this blog considering which to print and put into the box. Do the emotions ever abate? Or at least, become more manageable? I feel as if I just keep peeling back the 'emotional scab' not allowing the wound to heal.