Two more days until it the century mark since Alicia's death AND 14 more days until what would have been her 18th birthday. These two milestones are very hard to accept. It does not feel as if it has been 100 days since March 20th. I have come to accept her death. I know I will never see her bound through the doors again with a "Hey Pops". My memories of her scent have started to fade. My memories of her as a person will never fade but also I will never know who she may have become.
All of this is surreal. There exists a hole in my heart and spirit which will never fully recover. She will always occupy those places without satisfaction.
The contents of Alicia's room is slowly shifting. Pictures are being re-arranged. Some of her stuff is being given to others who have requested specific mementos of her. But we still have not touched her mirror which details her thoughts on colleges; her bulletin board which still has a copy of her TEAM acceptance letter; her desk packed full in every drawer. I imagine slowly these will change over time.
The one thing in her room I really am avoiding right now is the grey box of ashes. We have a plan. We have agreement on arrangements but no schedule as of now. I do not think of these as what is left of Alicia anymore. I have degraded them in my mind to just ashes. This will probably make it easier to make the arrangements and schedule the scattering.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Day 94, 23Jun10
I found myself these past 2 days in NY remembering our Fall trip with her to NY. Alicia and Cathie visited to colleges which ended up making up her mind about them. The rest of the time, they discovered NY. We stayed at a wonderful apartment in the Flat Iron district ... 19th between 5 & 6th I think. We were there for 5 days. We reconnected with Andy and noshed at Gobo (great veggie place). Alicia was enthralled with visiting NY and was taking pictures for her photography class.
The memories and emotions of Alicia's death are peculating just under my skin. Trips like this last one to NY have brought out memories of her. And with these memories is a profound feeling of loss. Loss of such a beautiful spirit...my daughter... our Alicia. I am lapsing in meetings a little more frequently now. What used to be occasional lapses, I find myself thinking of Alicia and feeling my loss about once or twice per meeting. I imagine this is what it will be for a while. I sense I am Ok but just struggling emotionally. On a conscious level I have compartmentalized Alicia's death, but sub-consciously...maybe not as well as I had hoped.
I am also struggling to find our 'new normal' at home, with Cathie, with Jasmine, and our family. I used to have dinners togehter, but we are maybe sitting down once a week at best. I miss this ritual. This allowed us to get caught up with everyone and discuss the events.
Jasmine suffered a hairline fracture of her ankle on Monday night after volleyball. She was playing with her team on some play structure when her ankle was caught. Cathie was with the team as a chaperon and took her to the ER in Sacramento where xrays revealed the fracture. They placed a splint on her ankle and suggested she follow up with an orthopod when they returned from Sactowne. Bummer. This will really cramp her summer activities.
The memories and emotions of Alicia's death are peculating just under my skin. Trips like this last one to NY have brought out memories of her. And with these memories is a profound feeling of loss. Loss of such a beautiful spirit...my daughter... our Alicia. I am lapsing in meetings a little more frequently now. What used to be occasional lapses, I find myself thinking of Alicia and feeling my loss about once or twice per meeting. I imagine this is what it will be for a while. I sense I am Ok but just struggling emotionally. On a conscious level I have compartmentalized Alicia's death, but sub-consciously...maybe not as well as I had hoped.
I am also struggling to find our 'new normal' at home, with Cathie, with Jasmine, and our family. I used to have dinners togehter, but we are maybe sitting down once a week at best. I miss this ritual. This allowed us to get caught up with everyone and discuss the events.
Jasmine suffered a hairline fracture of her ankle on Monday night after volleyball. She was playing with her team on some play structure when her ankle was caught. Cathie was with the team as a chaperon and took her to the ER in Sacramento where xrays revealed the fracture. They placed a splint on her ankle and suggested she follow up with an orthopod when they returned from Sactowne. Bummer. This will really cramp her summer activities.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Day 92, 21Jun10
Again another 1st. This was my first father's day without Alicia. Father's day was never a big event for us but recently we started spending time with my dad as well. Last year we took him out for dinner with some of his friends which he enjoyed thoroughly. Jasmine called from her volleyball tourney to wish me a Happy F'day. Cathie and I went out for lunch at a new restaurant, Dish. We came home and worked on a muslin covering for our trellis over the patio.
I watch some of a soccer match in San Rafael between two Hispanic teams. It brought me back memories of Alicia's soccer teams and travelling to the away games with the team in tow. I really enjoyed all the trials and tribulations of the Purple Penguins, Green Giants, Panthers, then MFC. She really enjoyed the game under Jose and would have continued playing had he been her coach. The memories...
I am greatly appreciating the visits from Kristin, Madison, Jen, and Monica today. They stopped by at various times this evening to wish me a happy Father's day. They brought flowers and stayed a bit to talk. This was unexpected and very much appreciated.
So today had an especially empty feeling without my dad and Alicia. With Jasmine at an away volleyball tournament, today was very low key. I guess I had hoped for some special acknowledgement of F'day today. It would have have been nice. Don't get me wrong, I do feel appreciated for what I do.
I watch some of a soccer match in San Rafael between two Hispanic teams. It brought me back memories of Alicia's soccer teams and travelling to the away games with the team in tow. I really enjoyed all the trials and tribulations of the Purple Penguins, Green Giants, Panthers, then MFC. She really enjoyed the game under Jose and would have continued playing had he been her coach. The memories...
I am greatly appreciating the visits from Kristin, Madison, Jen, and Monica today. They stopped by at various times this evening to wish me a happy Father's day. They brought flowers and stayed a bit to talk. This was unexpected and very much appreciated.
So today had an especially empty feeling without my dad and Alicia. With Jasmine at an away volleyball tournament, today was very low key. I guess I had hoped for some special acknowledgement of F'day today. It would have have been nice. Don't get me wrong, I do feel appreciated for what I do.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Day 90, 19Jun10
I have watched the video clip of Alicia's Memorial probably about 10 times already. I am drawn in and I end up crying ... guarenteed. The memories and emotions come flooding back. I feel transported back in time to that day. One of these days, I will be able to watch the video without crying. But I suspect the sorry empty feeling with always be there. (BTW- I have put a link to the video in the 'FavLinks' section of this blog. It is also up on YouTube and my F'book)
Memory is a funny thing. I can still can hear Alicia in my head but I'm losing how she sounded like. So I found myself calling her cell phone number today. I wanted to hear her voice in an attempt to indelibly imprint her voice in my memory. Things are starting to slip from my head such as her scent. I guess this is enevitable...although hard.
I have gotten better at 'covering'. I can enagge in a conversation and without batting an eye acknowledge we have two kids and give just enough detail for Alicia to satisfy 90% of the conversations. There are times while at work that all my emotions and memories of Alicia and the memorial impact me. Sometimes these moments are not preceed by a trigger which make them harder. I have excused my self to go to the restroom during meetings to gather myself. This has happened a couple of times last week.
Some of Alicia's belongings are slowly being disseminated to her friends who have reqeusted them such as a special t-shirt, or a favorite jacket. We were asked to donate shoes to help people in other countries for which Cathie combed through Alicia's shoes and ended up donating most of them such as her 'holey' green keds, pink crocs etc. But sentimental shoes such as her high heels from Chirstmas we still have. I think she had seen these shoes in SF (Hayes Valley store) and had to have them. I found them on Endless.com. Pretty shoes. She wore them at least once outside the house. With these shoes, she towered over most folks. She was 5'8" without these 2" heels.
Memory is a funny thing. I can still can hear Alicia in my head but I'm losing how she sounded like. So I found myself calling her cell phone number today. I wanted to hear her voice in an attempt to indelibly imprint her voice in my memory. Things are starting to slip from my head such as her scent. I guess this is enevitable...although hard.
I have gotten better at 'covering'. I can enagge in a conversation and without batting an eye acknowledge we have two kids and give just enough detail for Alicia to satisfy 90% of the conversations. There are times while at work that all my emotions and memories of Alicia and the memorial impact me. Sometimes these moments are not preceed by a trigger which make them harder. I have excused my self to go to the restroom during meetings to gather myself. This has happened a couple of times last week.
Some of Alicia's belongings are slowly being disseminated to her friends who have reqeusted them such as a special t-shirt, or a favorite jacket. We were asked to donate shoes to help people in other countries for which Cathie combed through Alicia's shoes and ended up donating most of them such as her 'holey' green keds, pink crocs etc. But sentimental shoes such as her high heels from Chirstmas we still have. I think she had seen these shoes in SF (Hayes Valley store) and had to have them. I found them on Endless.com. Pretty shoes. She wore them at least once outside the house. With these shoes, she towered over most folks. She was 5'8" without these 2" heels.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Alicia_Scott_Lee_Memorial_3-10.mov
OK. Here it is. Here is the video of Alicia's memorial service held on 27Mar10 at the Corte Madera Community Center. We will publish more clips as we are able to process them.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Day 85, 14Jun10
We survived the high school graduation season. We did not attend the Redwood HS ceremony which I felt could have been a bit drawn out with 400 some graduates. It was hard enough to sit with my emotions during the Tamiscal HS graduation. The garlands of paper cranes, the empty chair, and a tassel were a solemn reminders of Alicia's absence. This should have been a time of celebration and joy for us instead of sadness and remembrance. Alas...that was not meant to be.
The joys which we experience on this earth are such fleeting moments. We get caught up in ourselves and our busy schedules that we often neglect the joys of what is right before us. I still think back to the Thursday before she went out to T-vally, she and I 'belly-bumped' and laughed. It are these small moments which forever remind me of Alicia's essence. She had a lightness of spirit and sense of family which is a rare combination.
I am beginning to brace myself for Alicia's birthday, July 10th. Her first birthday since her death. Jasmine will be out of town in LA with family and friends. Cathie and I will left to our own devices and emotions. A friend once suggested we should consider a simple gesture, action, event, etc to mark the occasion such as a meal with her favorite food, her favorite hike or music. I think it is a great idea. I'd like to think of my hikes to T-valley as this but Cathie and Jasmine are not ready to return just yet. I feel it is a good thing to do. Something simple in remembrance.
Speaking with my therapist today, it flashed across my mind that Alicia will be forever frozen in time and space. While our family and her friends will continue to grow old, she will always exist as I last saw her, a limitless 17yo about to take wing on her own. I would have been thrilled to see how high and far she would have gone. My heart aches and my eyes tear with these thoughts.
God speed girl.
The joys which we experience on this earth are such fleeting moments. We get caught up in ourselves and our busy schedules that we often neglect the joys of what is right before us. I still think back to the Thursday before she went out to T-vally, she and I 'belly-bumped' and laughed. It are these small moments which forever remind me of Alicia's essence. She had a lightness of spirit and sense of family which is a rare combination.
I am beginning to brace myself for Alicia's birthday, July 10th. Her first birthday since her death. Jasmine will be out of town in LA with family and friends. Cathie and I will left to our own devices and emotions. A friend once suggested we should consider a simple gesture, action, event, etc to mark the occasion such as a meal with her favorite food, her favorite hike or music. I think it is a great idea. I'd like to think of my hikes to T-valley as this but Cathie and Jasmine are not ready to return just yet. I feel it is a good thing to do. Something simple in remembrance.
Speaking with my therapist today, it flashed across my mind that Alicia will be forever frozen in time and space. While our family and her friends will continue to grow old, she will always exist as I last saw her, a limitless 17yo about to take wing on her own. I would have been thrilled to see how high and far she would have gone. My heart aches and my eyes tear with these thoughts.
God speed girl.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Day 80, 09Jun10
We survived the Tamsical HS graduation! The ceremony was tastefully understated. Alicia was mentioned in name twice. They had an vacant seat where she would have sat with a large bouquet of flowers and her tassel. They had more cranes draping the stage wall as well. So unless folks were clued in on these signs, they would not have noticed.
During the ceremony, I kept looking up at the trees waving in the wind looking for a sign that Alicia was there. I imagined that she was there looking down upon us and all of her classmates. Jeeze... that was hard. I cried several times through out the ceremony. Just seeing the open chair with a bouquet and the tassel sent me in a tailspin. I recalled my graduation and how I felt so on top of the world. Alas...Alicia never experienced this feeling.
The graduation was really hard on Cathie. She kept it under control during the ceremony, but when she was handed the bouquet afterwards, that did it. It all started to become undone. We will probably skip the Redwood HS graduation Thursday. While there are kids we'd like to see walk, it will probably be too much.
On Monday, I met a friend, Dave after work just to talk. Dave is also part of this 'club'. He is in his second year since his daughter died. She died pretty close to where Alicia died. We talked about a lot of stuff. It was nice just to be able to talk and not worry about any awkwardness. I hope we will continue to just talk when possible.
During the ceremony, I kept looking up at the trees waving in the wind looking for a sign that Alicia was there. I imagined that she was there looking down upon us and all of her classmates. Jeeze... that was hard. I cried several times through out the ceremony. Just seeing the open chair with a bouquet and the tassel sent me in a tailspin. I recalled my graduation and how I felt so on top of the world. Alas...Alicia never experienced this feeling.
The graduation was really hard on Cathie. She kept it under control during the ceremony, but when she was handed the bouquet afterwards, that did it. It all started to become undone. We will probably skip the Redwood HS graduation Thursday. While there are kids we'd like to see walk, it will probably be too much.
On Monday, I met a friend, Dave after work just to talk. Dave is also part of this 'club'. He is in his second year since his daughter died. She died pretty close to where Alicia died. We talked about a lot of stuff. It was nice just to be able to talk and not worry about any awkwardness. I hope we will continue to just talk when possible.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Day 78, 07Jun10
Graduation season is in full swing now. This week Alicia would have graduated from Tamiscal Highschool this week. We still plan to attend the graduation ceremony on Tuesday. TEAM plans to formally announce the 1st annual Alicia Scott Lee scholarship. On Thursday, Redwood Highschool Alicia attended part-time has they graduation ceremony. We will go to see a few of her friends matriculate.
Emotionally this will be a difficult week. Tamsical has given us their graduation t shirt which still has Alicia's name silk screened on it. Redwood will give us a yearbook with a tribute page. I guess time moves forward and life goes on. It's hard to even think about these events and how Alicia would have relished the emotions with her friends. How we would have been very very proud of her. Alas... this is not to be.
I am feeling guilty that I did not hike down to T-valley. This past weekend we were very busy with art shows, benefits, team party, and store openings. All things Alicia would have loved. Yet I did not make the time to get down there. I am questioning how can I continue to honor Alicia. Would she want me to continue to hike to T-valley or would she say "silly pops". I guess I am struggling to find my way to continue to connect with her.
I tried church for a little bit. The Unity church in Berekely is where we attended for a bit following Alicia's memorial. We connect with the Rev. Dr Keel. But we are not overly religious and attending feels OK not entirely comfortable. I had been thinking since my aunt's death of attending church so it seemed like a good idea. I will still probably attend on occasion.
I am having motivational issues with working out in the mornings still. Last week I tried doing email for an hour, going to the gym then coming home to get Jasmine off to school. I did OK with the early email routine. But I ended up going to the gym twice last week which is a 100% improvement for the previous week. I used to be able to bound out of bed at 4:20am then get out by 4:40am. Anymore, I get up and turn off the alarm before crawling back into bed. What is up with that? I have keep this routine up for about 2 years so why am I struggling now?
I've been working on an e-book with a collection of Alicia's essays and snap shots. I am struggling to find enough pictures which correlates with her essays. Like I found an essay she wrote about my mom's death which I had never seen before. We do not have a lot of digital pictures with them both. So I'm sorting through old photographs to find some relevant shots to scan. I am probably 75% finished with the 1st rough draft. There is still alot of work left but mostly it should be editing.
The YouTube video is also ready to go. I've held off at Cathie's suggestion until after graduation week. Hopefully by then, the other video snippets will also be ready for publishing. I have created a 'channel' on YouTube for Alicia. I send up signal flares when I release the video.
Emotionally this will be a difficult week. Tamsical has given us their graduation t shirt which still has Alicia's name silk screened on it. Redwood will give us a yearbook with a tribute page. I guess time moves forward and life goes on. It's hard to even think about these events and how Alicia would have relished the emotions with her friends. How we would have been very very proud of her. Alas... this is not to be.
I am feeling guilty that I did not hike down to T-valley. This past weekend we were very busy with art shows, benefits, team party, and store openings. All things Alicia would have loved. Yet I did not make the time to get down there. I am questioning how can I continue to honor Alicia. Would she want me to continue to hike to T-valley or would she say "silly pops". I guess I am struggling to find my way to continue to connect with her.
I tried church for a little bit. The Unity church in Berekely is where we attended for a bit following Alicia's memorial. We connect with the Rev. Dr Keel. But we are not overly religious and attending feels OK not entirely comfortable. I had been thinking since my aunt's death of attending church so it seemed like a good idea. I will still probably attend on occasion.
I am having motivational issues with working out in the mornings still. Last week I tried doing email for an hour, going to the gym then coming home to get Jasmine off to school. I did OK with the early email routine. But I ended up going to the gym twice last week which is a 100% improvement for the previous week. I used to be able to bound out of bed at 4:20am then get out by 4:40am. Anymore, I get up and turn off the alarm before crawling back into bed. What is up with that? I have keep this routine up for about 2 years so why am I struggling now?
I've been working on an e-book with a collection of Alicia's essays and snap shots. I am struggling to find enough pictures which correlates with her essays. Like I found an essay she wrote about my mom's death which I had never seen before. We do not have a lot of digital pictures with them both. So I'm sorting through old photographs to find some relevant shots to scan. I am probably 75% finished with the 1st rough draft. There is still alot of work left but mostly it should be editing.
The YouTube video is also ready to go. I've held off at Cathie's suggestion until after graduation week. Hopefully by then, the other video snippets will also be ready for publishing. I have created a 'channel' on YouTube for Alicia. I send up signal flares when I release the video.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Day 76, 05Jun10
So far, this weekend has been fun. It has been our art weekend. We attended several wonderful events this weekend for various causes. But it got us thinking, why did we wait to participate in these events? We didn't we try to keep in touch with some friends that we do now? Shouldn't we have relished sharing all of these experiences with Alicia and Jasmine all along? I'd like to think Alicia is smiling upon us and saying 'about time'. Why now and not as much back then? Am I trying to fill our days to keep our minds busy to avoid thoughts of Alicia's death? Is it that I need to be around people right now to help me sort through my grief? There probably quite a bit of truth in the last statement. Dunno...dunno.
Friday evening, we attended a bday party in Redwood City. The bday boy and his band played for a couple of hours at a restaurant in downtown RWC. The party was a fund raiser for the RWC school district to whom we donated funds. It was a great idea and a fun way to raise funds. The bday boy is very talented. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves despite the food.
Saturday morning, We started off at the Bacon'fest which was a pancake and bacon benefit this morning in Ross for Marin Search and Rescue. We owe a great deal to Mike St John and the Marin SAR team during the search for Alicia. The SAR team mounted an intense and thorough search for her.
Glasshoff annual sculpture and art party (www.glashoffgallery.com). The Glasshoff's invite a plethora of local artists to show their art. There are always great bands,
good food, adult and kiddie beverages. This year was no exception. The art was off the hook, crowds were large, the food tasty, the beverages quenching, and music was reminiscent of times gone past.
We have been to the Glasshoff event for the past 3-4 years. Alicia liked looking at the art while Jasmine begrudgingly attended. I recall last year, there was a gentlemen who had a real live male baboon. He had worked for years at Marine World previously. It was amazing to see a baboon up close. They also have other exotic animals such as zebras and yaks on the farm.
This year, we invited Jen, Alicia's best friend, with us. As usual, today was a warm (80F) with bright sunshine. Jasmine and Jen seemed to have had a decent time by themselves. Although clearly they were ready to go within an hour and a half.
This evening, we were invited to an art show called Portraits from a Darkroom by Mike Garlington at the Boomerang gallery within the HeeBe JeeBe store in Petaluma. It was fun to see his exhibit and a dear friend Drew this evening. The show was a bit dark, and it was shot in black and white. It artist added dark whimsical elements to his photographs. The store is a great find in Petamula with irreverent toys and nick-knacks. I definitely bought a few things which I can not wait to open.
Sunday should be a good day to kick back and get some chores done around our house.
Friday evening, we attended a bday party in Redwood City. The bday boy and his band played for a couple of hours at a restaurant in downtown RWC. The party was a fund raiser for the RWC school district to whom we donated funds. It was a great idea and a fun way to raise funds. The bday boy is very talented. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves despite the food.
Saturday morning, We started off at the Bacon'fest which was a pancake and bacon benefit this morning in Ross for Marin Search and Rescue. We owe a great deal to Mike St John and the Marin SAR team during the search for Alicia. The SAR team mounted an intense and thorough search for her.
Glasshoff annual sculpture and art party (www.glashoffgallery.com). The Glasshoff's invite a plethora of local artists to show their art. There are always great bands,
good food, adult and kiddie beverages. This year was no exception. The art was off the hook, crowds were large, the food tasty, the beverages quenching, and music was reminiscent of times gone past.We have been to the Glasshoff event for the past 3-4 years. Alicia liked looking at the art while Jasmine begrudgingly attended. I recall last year, there was a gentlemen who had a real live male baboon. He had worked for years at Marine World previously. It was amazing to see a baboon up close. They also have other exotic animals such as zebras and yaks on the farm.
This year, we invited Jen, Alicia's best friend, with us. As usual, today was a warm (80F) with bright sunshine. Jasmine and Jen seemed to have had a decent time by themselves. Although clearly they were ready to go within an hour and a half.
This evening, we were invited to an art show called Portraits from a Darkroom by Mike Garlington at the Boomerang gallery within the HeeBe JeeBe store in Petaluma. It was fun to see his exhibit and a dear friend Drew this evening. The show was a bit dark, and it was shot in black and white. It artist added dark whimsical elements to his photographs. The store is a great find in Petamula with irreverent toys and nick-knacks. I definitely bought a few things which I can not wait to open.
Sunday should be a good day to kick back and get some chores done around our house.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Day 74, 03Jun10
What is my new normal? What does 'ok' feel like any more? I do not expect that I will ever get back to these states as before Alicia's death. There will always be a hole, a missing piece where Alicia once stood. So I must re-establish my 'normal', my 'ok'. I suspect without Alicia, my joys will always be a bit less, my emotional highs will be a little bit lower, but I must guard against my 'lows' being even deeper and my darkness enveloping me. Over time, these may begin to feel 'normal' or 'ok' to me. Am I settling? Am I not pushing myself enough?
I've gotten pretty good at 'covering'. Good enough to function at work, to socialize with friends. I realize that my 'cover' is only a thin veneer. If you scratch just a little, you'll find my raw emotions. Is this a good thing? Am I processing my grief? Or am I just forgetting about my emotions? I have noticed that with each conversation, my veneer become just a little bit thicker. My emotions are running just a bit deeper. Thus I appear to be together, but I am still hanging on for now.
Cathie and I met a friend who works at Pixar for lunch and toured their facility. Wow! What an impressive organization even after Steve Jobs left. The benefits they offer their employees to keep their creative juices going is amazing. Pixar reminds me of old Genentech on steriods. I love seeing l
ife size statues and charactures of their movie characters such as Sully and Mike from Monsters Inc, Nemo and Dorey from Finding Nemo, a Lego Buzz Lightyear and Woody from Toy Story 3. My friend was the main editor on Toy Story 2 and 3. What a trip. He explained what he does and the whole movie making process at Pixar. Fascinating.
Alicia would have been ecstatic today. She had such an exuberance for silly movies such as these. We both loved animation and especially the Pixar shorts like Geri's game, Bounder etc. I felt sad when I arrived in the lobby looking at all the amazing things around us. I felt sad because Alicia was not here to enjoy it with us. I hope she is looking down right now and enjoying what we got to see today.
I've gotten pretty good at 'covering'. Good enough to function at work, to socialize with friends. I realize that my 'cover' is only a thin veneer. If you scratch just a little, you'll find my raw emotions. Is this a good thing? Am I processing my grief? Or am I just forgetting about my emotions? I have noticed that with each conversation, my veneer become just a little bit thicker. My emotions are running just a bit deeper. Thus I appear to be together, but I am still hanging on for now.
Cathie and I met a friend who works at Pixar for lunch and toured their facility. Wow! What an impressive organization even after Steve Jobs left. The benefits they offer their employees to keep their creative juices going is amazing. Pixar reminds me of old Genentech on steriods. I love seeing l
ife size statues and charactures of their movie characters such as Sully and Mike from Monsters Inc, Nemo and Dorey from Finding Nemo, a Lego Buzz Lightyear and Woody from Toy Story 3. My friend was the main editor on Toy Story 2 and 3. What a trip. He explained what he does and the whole movie making process at Pixar. Fascinating. Alicia would have been ecstatic today. She had such an exuberance for silly movies such as these. We both loved animation and especially the Pixar shorts like Geri's game, Bounder etc. I felt sad when I arrived in the lobby looking at all the amazing things around us. I felt sad because Alicia was not here to enjoy it with us. I hope she is looking down right now and enjoying what we got to see today.
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