I have been seeing a therapist since Alicia's death. I feel the 'help has helped'. Emotionally I operate within a narrow band...not too high and not too low. Alicia's death took me to places emotionally I have never experienced. My therapist has helped me feel these emotions without asking the unanswerable questions about fairness and a reason. There is no reason for her death. A series of bad judgments in an outdoor setting proved to be one too many decisions.
As I come up to 5 months since her death, I feel stable. I still have strong emotional recollections at times. But for the most part, I am emotionally healthy. So I have cut back my appointments to once a month for now. But, I have begun a search for a family therapist for the 3 of us together. This would be in place of Jasmine's therapist, in addition to Cathie's and my help. I hope the dynamic of all 3 of us there will prove to be useful to us all.
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