This week was a emotionally hard therapy session. We talked about the up coming holidays and Alicia's room. I teared up at least 3 times over the course of a 1 hour session. I resisted using kleenex... I guess as a show of machismo.
Last week the girls suggested we convert Alicia's room into a reading room library. I had not thought about what to do with her room and asked them to hold off. They were prepared to begin immediately, I was not. Alicia's clothes, books, and belongings have been thinned out. Some given to her friends and some used by the girls. But there are still alot of things which we have not delved into such as the nooks and crannies of her roll top desk. There are quite a few cubby holes/drawers which are filled with Alicia's stuff I have not even looked at. This will be a lot of heavy emotions for me.
The therapist asked if I wanted to keep her room as is for memories. I do not. We do need to move on. I guess I just need to be prepared emotionally.
The holidays are also coming. TDay is not a big deal for us thus it should be fine. We're headed to the mountains. I'll go up earlier to get away and maybe do some fishing. My brother will likely join us as well as a friend and her partner. I am more concerned about XMas. This... will be hard. The first year of not having her put fort her ever growing wish list. I may still purchase/do something as a memento of the 1st year.
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