We're getting closer... 7 days and counting.
I found this picture of her from KBDS 8thgrade year volleyball. I was not able to attend hardly any of her volleyball matches at KDBS, but this one I did attend. I remember they were leading my a hefty margin so Ms Guererro told her to jump serve which they had not practiced. The first time she mis-tossed the ball up tried to hit it anyway...net. Her time service, she tried again (see picture). She tossed the ball behind her a bit but she was able to hit it over the net. She was laughing so hard she could hardly stay focused on the play.
I was sorting through some of my dad's files today when I ran across some Birthday cards my dad had saved. I found one from 2008 which I remember clearly... an elephant sitting in a convertible VW Beetle. In the card, Alicia had signed it. It caught me by surprise and I stopped. Memories of her came flooding through. 'All' (not nearly enough) the birthday/holiday cards I 'made' the girls sign over the years. How my dad would dote over Alicia when she was little. The times Alicia spent with dad paying his bills and organizing his papers. The moment I had to tell him Alicia had died. His outburst... uncontrollable crying...then passing out. I stood there, immobilized by these memories and emotions.
When will this get easier? When will I be able to look at her things be it art, pictures, or clothing and smile warmly on the inside instead of tearing up?
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