Well...today marked the 4th anniversary of Alicia's death. Cathie and I marked the anniversary with a stroll down to Tennessee Valley beach then hiked to the bunker and even beyond. It was a gorgeous day, sunny and high 60sF. We had brought flowers to place in the bunker chimney and to toss over the edge.
As I stood on the bunker and reflected upon my memories of Alicia, two small seals popped up in the cove below and frolicked in the surf. I was told later that a whale breached off shore as well. Too good. She would have loved it.
I stopped visiting the bunker and even Tennessee Valley a while ago. I feel that I do remember Alicia everyday from everywhere thus I do not feel the need to go visit. As I stood there today, I felt a tinge of guilt and began wondering if that decision was incorrect. A lot of things had changed, topography of the hill above the bunker, permanent restrooms vs portapotties yet the one thing that is consistent, this was where she drew her last breath.
I still struggle. The pain changes, but it is ever present. The memories fade yet images of Alicia will forever be etched in my mind's eye. She will always remain 17...a bit goofy....light spirited... determined.
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