Who ever thinks it gets easier over time is full of it... It really does not. I have developed a subtle way to work it in a conversation when asked about kids. If the hint is not picked up and the conversation continues, I am able to state that Alicia had died and move on. But when qthe conversation comes up unexpectedly...woah! Here we go again.
A couple of weeks ago, I joined a friend for dinner and she had a few other friends over. We had a great home cooked Thai meal. I always love these 'good food and good friends' situations. What seemed like Out of the blue in the middle of dinner, one person stated they had heard about Alicia via a mutual friend and that she had no idea it was our daughter as she followed the news about the search efforts. She went on to ask how are we doing and qto express her condolences.
WHAM!!!!
I stammered a bit and was able to eek out that it is hard and I think about Alicia everyday. I felt the 'gifts' begin gathering themselves in my eyes. When asked further, I went on to describe Alicia's uniqueness...the 'gifts' began to appear. It was awkward to say the least. Casual dinner with friends ends up with me sharing these 'gifts'. I guess in a way, I should be pleased that I was able to share Alicia with others who did not know her.
But after 4 years, it does not get any easier.
No comments:
Post a Comment