Happy 19th Birthday Ichi! Monica and Alana dropped off a beautiful bouquet of flowers. You would have loved them. as I drove your car to Tahoe this weekend, I remembered Jen's story of her first ride with you in the Miata and smiled.
Imagine, today you would have been 19 years old. You would have just completed your freshman year at college either at UC Davis, Wilamette, Cal-Poly, or even Colorado College. You probably would be hanging out with mom in Tahoe this week. Hiking, camping, and just enjoying the outdoors. I am sure it would bug you to no end that Jasmine is as tall as you now.
Alas, today's harsh reality is insurmountable. At times, it envelopes me. I would be just driving across the bridge when a memory of you would softly alight in my memory like a graceful butterfly. As quietly as the memory would appear, it's impact upon me would be powerful and pointed. I'd be awash reliving the memory just for a fleeting second. A smile would find it's way to the surface only to be pummeled by the reality of today.
I have stopped trying to make any sense of your death. There is none. I used to get mad at myself, you, and everything around. But it did not change anything nor did it illuminate any reason. So I simply stopped.
Oh my, I just came upon your blog and have been reading it. I was sorting through some pictures of some of my trail runs when I came across ones I took last July. My son saw a particular photo and asked me to tell him The Story. That story was about your Alicia and you. I was the runner who stopped to read about Alicia and smell the roses you left for her. I was the runner who ran up beside you and talked with you and shared a hug I will never ever forget. Oh how I wish I could hug you now. I cannot tell you how many times I think of you and your daughter. Whenever I run near that place, I always go up and pause and think of you. I hope you and your wife are doing well. I cannot imagine your grief. I am so very glad our paths crossed that day. With Love...lisa
ReplyDeleteLisa,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I clearly recall the day we met at T-Valley. Your kind words lifted my spirits that day and continues to lift my spirits. Thank You.