Well, this is likely my last post of 2010. I can not say I am disappointed that 2010 draws to a close. I am grateful for everyone's support which enabled me and the family to cope with Alicia's, my dad's, and aunt's death. I can not say I am a stronger person from the experience, but I can appreciate the depths of emotions.
These holidays have been weird. I have taken the last 2 weeks off of work. Yet most of the time has been spent apart. When we are together, the 'holiday cheer' is at most thin veneer and most of the time not even present. I am going through the traditional holiday motions of buying gifts, decorating the tree, listening to holiday music, baking breads, dropping of gifts etc but with little internal cheer. Don't get me wrong, I really do enjoying giving, but the emotions are quite a bit duller. I have read and been told that this is 'normal' and over time, things will improve.
I was filling out the 2011 family calendar we buy every year. This is a calendar which has up to five columns for people. I began filling it in, but caught myself before I wrote Alicia's name. I readjusted myself, then wrote Jasmine's name leaving two empty columns. I marked the birthdays and vacations. I want to mark March 20th, and July 10th but could not find a subtle way to doing so. These are dates that will be with me forever.
I decided to get a tattoo in remembrance. I had been thinking of a tattoo for a few years but could not decide on a design. Cathie had a feather tattoo on her hand (webbing between thumb and forefinger) in Aug/Sep of this year. With my extra time during the holidays, it struck me that I would like an angel. So I began searching on line and found quite a few designs. Most were on people's backs. This made sense to me in that when it is my time, Alicia will be there to show me the way. I searched the net for different designs and found the design above on a great website for tattoo designs (www.tattoojohnny.com). I went to our local tattoo parlor, Spider Murphy's (www.spidermurphys.com) and made an appt. Heather Bailey was did a great job in about an hour.
So with my new tattoo, I look forward to 2011.
No comments:
Post a Comment