Day 36, 26Apr10

I have reached out and posted on the Compassionate Friends website. TCF posts 1 question daily to which people respond. Thequestion I responded to was about people's use of the internet as support or coping strategy. I relayed that I am blogging as a way to express my emotions and inner struggle. I also post on Facebook where I have loaded a lot of pictures of Alicia.

Yesterday, two people responded to my post on TCF. One of whom lives close and lost their 20 yo daughter 2 years ago on 19Apr08. Their daughter fell from an area close to where Alicia had fallen. She relayed that they were near when the search ended and felt grounded where they were. She felt compelled to reach out once she figured it out. It was a bit strange initially, but I confirmed her story. I plan to reach out to her today or tomorrow. I feel a kinship with this person without even meeting. I feel she understands what we are experiencing.

I forgot to mention, with the the untimely death of Catigny, we got 3 new chicks to raise. They are named Sultan (a white Sultan chicken), Raja (replacement for Catigny), and Jafar (dark brown spotted chicken). Jen was over Sunday when she returned from Spain where she was stranded with her family during the volcano eruption in Iceland. We broke the news of Catigny which she seemed to take in stride. Much unlike how Cathie handled it but similiar to Jasmine's reaction. I post more on the chicks later.

Alicia's part-time high school had contacted us for pictures of her and may be a poem of sorts. I pulled together some higher DPI pictures and sent them off. Cathie was looking for a pad to practice her calligraphy when she ran across a note pad of Alicia's. There was a car pool schedule for a TEAM bonfire, a list of pros and cons as to which high school to attend for her Senior year. But incidentally, it also contained a 2 page essay about her mortality. It is really very heavy emotionally. I was unable to read it all the way through in1 sitting. I kept crying. It is uncannily prophetic and extremely close to reality. There are parts which are 'dark' and intraspective. After showing this to one of her close teachers, I decided to majorly edit the document and provide a few lines to the yearbook. I may post it here.