It has been over 1 week since I last posted. I sit here and have no idea where to start. I still struggle with the same things surrounding Alicia's death. I am accepting of her death. I accept the facts but I still consider 'what would Alicia would have done/liked'. As a good friend reframed for me, it is a gift. The gift of memory. I would give the world to turn back time and change the memories into reality. But that glass slipper no longer fits.
I feel as if Alicia is slowly slipping away...from me & my memories. I was thinking recently that I can not recall what she smelled like. I can still clearly remember her voice and the sound of her laughs. But things are slipping away. I no longer have any text messages on my phone due to a phone malfunction.
I listen to her ipod. I am amazed at the variety of songs. Her musical tastes travel well beyond my own. It reaches back into time well before my birth and extends to the present. I find myself amazed and grateful that I continue to get to know her.
So on one hand, things are slowly dissolving yet on the other hand, I continue to learn more and more about who she had become. The paradox of life.
We now have all the videos upon YouTube from the ceremony. Memories shared by her friends, stories shared during the ceremony, and montage of the ceremony. I will warn all, be prepared with kleenex or at least a clean sleeve when you watch. It is gut wrenching.
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