Yesterday, another 17yo from Philly vacation with his family fell off a cliff near Muir Beach. He fell about 400 feet and died. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family. When I heard the tragic accident, I became emotionally paralyzed. I was instantly transported back to 3/20 and my mind was reliving that whole nightmare.
Recently, I was with a few friends. The daughter of one of them was married within the past 2 weeks. The conversation turned toward the details of the event and the happy couple. I listened passively, but could not bring myself to contribute other than a 'congratulations'. I was really stuck emotionally. I did not want to be insensitive and leave nor could I engage. I kept day dreaming how Alicia would have loved her own wedding. How beautiful she would be in a wedding dress, they type of service she would have loved etc. I know this is how it will be and I am powerless to change it.
Separately someone who works for me was just married this past weekend and a few folks attended. He was riding high when he returned to work. There was a lot of discussion about the events and details of his wedding. Once again, I felt the same emotions running through me as before. Will these situations ever get easier? Should I just excuse myself rather than put myself through it? I was able to keep myself together during these conversations.
Below is a link to my YouTube site with the various video clips from Alicia's memorial.
http://www.youtube.com/user/ASL92dad
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