The big day has almost arrived. Seven more days until Alicia's 18th birthday. We're struggling how to celebrate, mark, remember...not sure of the right verb Alicia's birthday. This year, Cathie and I will be here but Jasmine will still be in LA. So what... make a big deal of Alicia's bday? Spend it with some of her friends? Or keep it low key. Do soemthing that she enjoyed doing (eg rock climbing) or eating (Squat & Gobble). We're likely to keep it low key but maybe with some of her friends.
I can not beleive it has been 105 days since Alicia has died. Time seems to be flying by but as I had previously written about, my emotional time feels like it should be Day 30. Just Friday, I was in the coffee room at work at 7:30am before my 8am telecon when I was overcome with emotion. I began to cry. There was anyting that triggered this outburst. I was just waiting for my cup of coffee. It felt as if all the emotions of Alicia's death came back to me instantously.
A good friend also living with a loss, calls these outburts as 'gifts'. Gifts of emotion and memories to treasue. Wow...that is an elightening way to comtemplate emotional moments.
I'm including a picture we found recently. This must have been taken in 1993 when Alicia was just under 1 year old. In the picture is me holding Alicia, with my dad and my grandfather sitting next to him. At the time of this picture, my grandfather was late 80s. What struck me when I saw this picture is that of the 4 generations in the picture, only I am still around.
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